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Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions

Self Hate

Hello,

I'm 24 going on 25 and I have an absolute hatred of myself. My mother had/has MPD, (Multi-Personality Disorder), and I do love the "real" her. However, it's hard to get into but, one day I would have the greatest mom ever and the next day I would be the stupidest, lower than nothing, worthless child that ruined her life.

I was bullied heavily in school and then I would go home and be mentally tortured. I had no escape from it ever. I now have no, and never had, self worth. I dont think it's possible for me to have any self worth. I don't blame her because I know about MPD but the question is, I've tried everything possible to get some self worth. I mean at least caring what happens to me because, truth be told, I don't  think I call myself innocent in any of this because I'm not.

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