Skip 
Navigation Link
EHN Crisis Line: 915-779-1800
Crisis Hotline: 1-844-225-7254
Follow Us On:
Ask Dr. Schwartz
Ask Dr. Schwartz
Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions

Does My Boyfriend Have a Personality Disorder?

My boyfriend of over 2 years had a very ,very rough childhood. His mom was abusive and he was malnourished. Him and his brother and sister would get tied down to chairs during the day. Foster care, an addicted parent, etc, were all in the picture.

When I met him, my boyfriend was an alcoholic. Since then he has quit alcohol due to how aggressive he would get toward me when he would drink. He would not remember anything, and that lead black outs. So, he quit drinking entirely even though it still is hard.

We have shown extreme involvement in helping each other out because we were both pretty broken when we met. I have a personality disorder myself, BPD. So, I have a codependence problem and an excessive need for him to show me affection. Not until this past month did I actually discover he wasn't giving me this affection but not because of anything that had to do with me. He literally has a disconnection in his brain and doesn't find pleasure in affection. I asked him today as I held him as we watched TV, if it felt good, and he basically told me it didn't really feel like anything.

He also has a very violent history but hasn't shown me anything of the scary sort since he quit drinking. I've always told him he has a big heart and I have no idea how he came out so good when his past was so bad. However, as I said, I am starting to notice personality traits that make me think there may be something wrong.

Can you tell me your opinion doc? Second, can he just have a slip in his personality but that it's no underlying disease?

Thanks

THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.

Disclaimer

  • Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
  • Dr. Schwartz intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by Dr. Schwartz to people submitting questions.
  • Dr. Schwartz, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. Dr. Schwartz and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.

Share This

Resources